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Hello sassy people! Today we are talking about Non-Toxic Masculinity.
I read My Better Life by Sarah Ready, which is an amazing book by the way, and the hero is a great example of non-toxic masculinity.
My Better Life
Soul Mates in Romeo #6
When East Coast elite and wealthy bachelor Gavin Williams wakes up in a rural West Virginia hospital, he doesn’t remember who he is or where he’s from.
He doesn’t remember his heiress fiancée, his luxury homes, his exotic travels, or his private plane.
And he especially doesn’t remember insulting local country-girl and fiery redhead Jamie Sutton, smashing her dreams, and leaving her in a pinch.
So when a redhead in overalls stands over his hospital bed and convincingly tells him he loves banjos, hound dogs, and rustling chickens, what’s he supposed to do?
Suddenly Gavin is scrambling to fit into a country life that doesn’t feel familiar and that can’t possibly be his. A wife? Kids? A chicken coop?
His life is full of holes and secrets, desires and dreams, and as Gavin learns more he begins to wonder—will he ever remember? And what happens when he does?
The premise of this book is Gavin wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember anything and there is a woman there, saying she is his wife, he has 3 kids, and they live on a farm. He has a bit of trouble believing that this is his life when he was sure he was rich before. However, he learns more and more about this family and naturally starts to fall in love with them.
With this plot, Gavin had a million reasons to be toxic, he was in a place he didn’t know, doing a job he didn’t like, living in a place he also didn’t like and dealing with a wife who wasn’t super romantic toward him. But did not! He was great and I love him!
So let’s define what toxic masculinity is:
- Emotional detachment
- Sexual Objectification
- Sexually predatory
Our man Gavin, not only doesn’t do any of these, he does the opposite, so
here are 7 reasons why Gavin is a prime example of non-toxic masculinity.
- He is a man
- He provides for his family and is proud to do that.
- He doesn’t need to assert his dominance
- He loves his children and likes to take care of them and the house, not as help for his wife, but as part of his job as a parent.
- He can be without sex, to respect his wife’s wishes.
- He accepts that his partner has a dream and a gift and he will help her achieve them, even if his own job is shoveling poop every day.
- And he realizes that he made mistakes in the past, even if he doesn’t remember them, and he wants to fix them. He is willing to do the work and be emotionally vulnerable.
For this character and a bunch of others, I advise you to read this book and to recommend me more heroes like Gavin.
Here are some links to videos and posts I used to create this post/TikTok video.
What Toxic Masculinity looks like by Pop Culture Detective.
What does Toxic Masculinity look like.
Well, that is all for today, I hope you like this post, hope you enjoy this book as much as I did. Feel free to leave your opinion about it in the comments and I will see you next time!
Bye sassy people!
- I know that some comments I make about decent guys on my posts are the bare minimum a guy should do, so no, they don’t deserve to be treated like gods for doing the minimum, but at the same time, I’ve read a lot of sexist books and I appreciate authors who make characters that can serve as role models and examples of how a decent guy acts and what a loving and respectful relationship looks like. I believe we should always encourage these authors and bring attention to the ones that still write sexist characters and stories.
- I make a lot of comments about sexism and healthy role models in books, but a lot of times these characteristics don’t make the book a bad book and definitely don’t make the author a bad author. Please never shame these authors and these books for these comments, I simply feel that we need to have awareness of the less than ideal situations some books bring us, and not use the romanticized problem as examples of what a relationship should be. Most of these authors are still amazing, and the content they write doesn’t reflect directly with their personal views and opinions. Always make sure to respect and be kind to everyone, even while criticizing their content.
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Brazilian architecture student and book lover
One of my goals in analysing my readings was to talk about important topics, like feminist and consent, because literature, art and culture influence us, and I believe we should always encorage authors who talk about this topics.
Come check out my Goodreads Reading Challenge!
Goodreads Reading Challenge 2020
I read 148 books in 2020, come see them!